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Monday, July 1, 2013

U, V, W, X, Y, Z. Finishing Up With Mini Posts.

This is me cheating on a challenge. I knew this time of year was too crazy to begin an every day for 26 days project. My apologies. For sucking.

U – U is for Unconditional love.

I take the word unconditional very seriously. Without limits. I think there are only two people on this entire planet that I could ever love unconditionally and I gave birth to both of them. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dear husband with all my heart but if he were to become some wife beating, meth addicted, puppy killing, child rapist, I fear my love for him would wane. It will never happen, but those are my conditions. My kids on the other hand could be (but never will!) crazy ass, car-bombing, ax murdering, psycho killers and I would still love them. I don’t always have to like them. Love them? I just always will.

V - V is for Violence

I apologize for the previous paragraph and any damaging imagery it has caused you. The thought of any violence is sickening. I actually get queasy thinking about it. I don’t watch MMA, hate the idea that other places in this world actual still consider torture as valid punishment, and am truly disgusted by anyone who finds pleasure or necessity in hurting another.

W – W is for Widespread Panic

I was always a fan of this band but since marrying my hubs have pushed it to real close to the top of my list of favorites. We really enjoy seeing them together. We really enjoy traveling to see them, together. Enjoy my two favorites:

“Climb to Safety” is my favorite that they do. It was written by the wonderful Jerry Joseph (and the Jackmorons) but Widespread later threw it on an album and played the sh*t out of it. There is a kick ass version on YouTube with both Jerry Joseph and John Bell you might want to check out HERE. You are welcome.


X – X is for Xanex

Ha! Is this stuff like Valium was in the 50’s or what?! It is the “here shut up and do your lady duty” drug of the 21st century. I have a headache/tension/hang nail/bad mood/stress/trouble sleeping/dying pop career so I think I’ll take a Xanex. No judging but I once sewed an entire kitchen-dining room full of curtains and was paid in these pills! Heeey noooow… that was like an entire lifetime ago. But seriously. Then we took them for fun. No, seriously. When my buddy was sick and having treatments regularly requiring general anesthetic it was a lot for this mommy to handle. I actually blacked out in a waiting room waiting for him once. I run to my Dr. who solves everything with an Rx and told her what had happened. I am pretty anti-drug these days so I did not want her to load me up on a ton of prescriptions for depression or anxiety. I didn’t want to be a robot, I still had two small children depending on me every minute. I asked her if there was anything to help me get my sh*t together. Like a rescue inhaler for my anxiety attacks? She said she thought Xanex would do the trick. Huh. I bet. I tried it in a non recreational setting and it is just not any fun when it is not for fun. Needless to say, I’m crazy as ever and totally unmedicated. tee hee 

Y – Y is for Yellowbook

Also known as the Yellow Pages. A giant planet killing, unreliable, and horribly edited waste of energy. Why does this damn thing still exist? Does anyone ever use it? It is 2013!!! Call directory. I have called three times to have this piece of crap’s delivery stopped. Maybe someday I will get my way.

Z – Z is for Zero

I have Zero interest in ever doing another blog challenge. Ever. Like ZERO chances of that happening.

Thanks for reading.

Much love.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T. Catching Up With Mini Posts

My work schedule has changed and I have been very busy besides so I have lost a few days. Like more than a week. Summertime around here is pretty hectic and well… enough excuses. I made it almost halfway through the alphabet before I fell of the planet. Sue me.

M – M is for May.

May is my favorite month. The weather is usually looking up before it gets too hot. My birthday is in May. It marks the beginning of summer with the kids getting out towards the end of the month. May is also a polite way to ask for something “May I have another cookie?” and I really love manners. A family that is very dear to me also calls me May. When their oldest was tiny she had a rough time with Emilie and it would always come out like “Em-may” and from there on it has stuck, which I love. Melts my heart. So May is my name too. Mmm… May.

N – N is for Neighbors

We decided to build and then moved in about two years ago. In that time I have come across the finest group of people and feel very lucky to call them not just neighbors but friends. When they say “it takes a village” it is the truth, and we have a village. There is a close-ness that I don’t quite understand and hope stays for many many years to come. I consider myself lucky because we have found extended family where in truth sometimes neighbors just suck. Side note: it has also taught me I can cook for more than a dozen people at the drop of a hat!

O – O is for Optimism

This is a foreign territory for me. I am unfortunately a pessimist. Not only is my glass half empty, I will probably spill it before I get where I’m going.

P – P is for Patience 

Again, not my strong suit. I am forever praying for patience (I hear it is a virtue) but as with all things concerning our Dear Lord in Heaven, supreme being and master of irony and humor, it is not given but gained. Apparently when you pray for patience you are given ample opportunities to learn instead of just getting your way and being able to deal. So deal.

Q – Q is for Quiet

Quiet is something I am constantly on the search for. I love a comfortable silence and crave it just like Lay’s potato chips or chocolate. This is why for the past 13 years I have practiced yoga. I yearn for the discipline to quiet my mind. Ironically, quiet is something I scream for. I have a tad bit of tinnitus so even when it is most quiet, I do not hear silence. I am learning the hard way they are not one in the same.

R – R is for Reality T.V.

Is it just me or will they just make a show out of anything?!?! I have banned it from my life (mostly). My hubby… not so much.

S – is for Stay-At-Home-Mom

For the Stay-at-home-Mom portion of this post I would like to refer to this little gem in which I rant about stay at home moms. I do still consider, with much guilt, myself to be one. I realize both of my kids are in school but that leaves summer, right?! Right??? ok. Whatever. I do work out of the house some evenings but mainly, embarrassingly hold on to my previous full time title. I don’t pay for childcare so it still counts, right?

T – T is for Travel

I LOVE to travel. Who doesn’t? You would be surprised. A lot of people hate it. I, on the other hand, need it. I don’t care if it is by car, plane, boat, train or bus. Well… lets be clear, I would rather spend an eternity in a car jammed to the ceiling with kid crap and pillows than fly two hours even with plenty of leg room but I realize some evil is necessary. I have never in my life traveled by train but am eagerly wanting to. I don’t really care why but travel is something I feel drawn to do. I would love to see the world but a day trip three hours away suits me just fine too. Fancy cruise or camping trip. Does not matter. Must go. Now.    

I have a ton of crap to do and it is summer so maybe I will cheap out and do another group post. Who signs up for a giant daily commitment with kids under foot anyway? This dummy. Deal. (and I’m sorry)

Saturday, June 15, 2013

L is for Lego Land!

In nearby Kansas City we have a Lego Land Discovery Center. It is not big and fancy like the amusement park Lego Land but it was sure to be a day filled with Legos so we were very excited. I may not be able to put into words the obsession my kids have with the dang things, how much I love them too, how cool it was to be surrounded by them all day, or how amazing the Lego Engineers truly are so I will take a stab with loads of crappy photography.


2/3 pumped. 1/3 weirdo.


My little dude immediately decided this is the career path he would like to pursue. I can’t say I blame him. This guy was really cool to watch.


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This was my favorite part. The mini city. Incredible! Like a tiny KC with stadiums full of Chief’s fans and all. It would change from day to night about every 10 minutes too. That rocked!

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I can not even try to describe this. Holy Wizard of Oz accurate! Sheesh!




Giant ball pit/jungle gym type thingy, only filled with huge foam Legos.


Wishing we had more girls to play with…


I made a castle fit for a Lego Princess.


My sister made a funny.


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We even took a class taught by a Lego Master (which I think I am). We made hammer head sharks. It was cool.



Is this not a little boys dream?!

There were no fewer than 30 more pictures but they all suck the same as these so I’ll spare you. What else was there? A Lego Racers drag strip where you make your own car to race. A 4-D movie theater. We saw every movie they had. A Tower of Power tremble station where you build and earthquakes destroy you. Two nerdy little rides. Two clean bathrooms. A cafe. And last but not least a gift shop. Duh. I think I spent more there than it cost us to get in to the dang place!

A perfect mini vacation in early spring when it was still too cold out to do much of anything.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

K is for Kansas City

I love KC! The hubbs and I try and get there as often as we can to hit our favorite concert venue. It is a cheap one tank trip. Usually about three and a half to four hours drive.

Every once in while my sister and I like to plan something for our boys to do together. This year for spring break we hit the road to Kansas City. This lovely city I speak of not only has the second most fountains of any city in the world (Rome is #1) but every other hotel has a waterpark if you are out in the burbs. Home to the Great Wolf Lodge *swoon* and about 7 other indoor/outdoor waterparks.

We decided to stay at one of the cheaper spots because we had big plans for the next day (That will be my ‘L’ post!). The kids had a blast and I can’t count how many times we all did the giant slide, sister included. We stayed up until like 11:00 and gorged on pizza after our pool play.

It was freakin’ awesome! Check it out:









We were unsure of what my nephew’s reaction would be. This is his first time down and he does not look pleased but he bounced off and ran up for more! Champ.

I know this is not the best pic but did you see in the previous pic how the tubes go out of the building? Well, this is the outside!


Cousins. Sissy, I think we are in trouble.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

J is for Just Keep Swimming

Let me begin by saying that Finding Nemo has got to be my favorite Disney movie. Just love it.

Then let me say that we spent the day swimming. I think the tops of my thighs are burnt.

Right about there is where I spent my time frying today. A huge thank you to my Mother-in-Law! Not only do we get to spend time in the gorgeous oasis, we get on demand PBJ’s. ;)

“Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming”.  

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

I is for IMDb

I am addicted to the Internet Movie Database. It has solved many an argument. You can look up movies, shows, actors, soundtracks, basically anything you want to know about Hollywood goings-on. I watch trailers, find new release info, actor bios, hours of fun.

I implore you to check it out if by chance you are the only person on the planet who has not already.

Lame post. This is way harder than I thought. Besides, who wants to piss anybody off on letter 9 out of 26?!

Monday, June 10, 2013

H is for Hash tag

Hash tag. Ugh.

I don’t tweet. I have never been into or onto Twitter. I think that blogging and Facebook are narcissistic enough for me and I don’t need another way to shout out to the world what cereal I had this morning.

Back in my day (tee hee) that symbol was called a number sign. On the telephone it is the pound key.

So how do I know about this hash tag if I do not ever use Twitter? Because whether being funny, or just addicted to fad crap it is all over Facebook! I am not sure of the purpose of hash tagging stuff on Facebook. Could it be that the two are linked? If you hash tag something on Facebook does that mean I can go to Twitter and find it under those selected phrases?

I am so confused and as with all things I don’t completely understand, I hate it.

It is annoying. Please stop.

Much love.

#momispissed   #thingsiwillneverunderstand  #everybodylookatme 

Sunday, June 9, 2013

G is for Grief

grief  noun \ˈgrēf\  

a: deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement.

b: trouble, annoyance

c: playful criticism


a: We recently suffered a large amount of grief in our family with the loss of my dear Grannie. It was unexpected and sudden and life altering. She was such a large part of my life I think I was in denial of ever losing her. Silly, huh? As the strong matriarchal figure in our family she is greatly missed. Every day brings memories I didn’t think I would so soon have to recall. She is everywhere and in everything we do. The phrase “my heart swells with pride/joy/love” I think can also be true for grief. My heart swells with grief. If not for my loving family and my super compassionate husband, I fear it would consume me wholly. It is a physical ache brought on by emotion that is not comparable to any other feeling.

b: “I have had enough grief for one day” or my all time favorite “Good grief!”



c: I am full of this kind of grief. I love to poke fun. If you happen to be in my company while doing something unintentionally dumb I will give you grief for it. For a long time probably. I also am not the most graceful or particularly lucky person so I, too, receive my fair share of grief. All in fun.

F is for Feet

I really don’t like them . Not even a little. I know they are a very important part of things like standing and walking but I think they are kind of gross really.

On the flip side of my dislike I really can’t stand wearing shoes if I don’t have to. I am barefoot a lot. I wear flip-flops most of the summer even though I know how truly disgusting that is.

I do, however love my kids feet. My dudes are 8 and 6 and it is not unusual for me to freely hand out a good foot massage when it is time to cut toenails.

One of my husband’s favorite stories to tell is when we were practically strangers and he saved me from a splinter in my foot. I was irked out and in a good amount of surprise and pain and he took charge and rode to my rescue.

I don’t know where the dislike of this particular body part stems from other than I have seen some pretty freakin’ nasty ones in my lifetime. Mine are not particularly bad either. They are slender with high arches and no funky toes.

Feet are nasty. That is all.

DSC03555 Yes that is a gash on my pinky toe. I cut it on my beach chair.

Friday, June 7, 2013

E is for Eleven

Here are eleven things that start with E:

1. Emilie. Had to start with the obvious.

2. Elephants. We have a new baby elephant at our zoo. It is the talk of the town.

3. Elevated heart rate. Today is Notional Donut Day. My timing is poopy but my belly is full.

4. Elongated telephone good-byes. Just hang the F up already!

5. Eleventy. I love made up words and speaking in hyperbole. “My kids will say ‘mommy’ eleventy thousand times before the day is done”.

6. Erasure. Anybody else still love this band?

7. Elevators. Hate them for three reasons. They are tiny, they are scary, and they are going up higher than I planned to walk.

8. E-cards. Dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb. And lazy.

9. Edamame. Ew. Don’t like it, won’t eat it.

10. Eyeglasses. I need new ones so bad but I have this strange loathing of the whole process.

11. Enough. This post is so dumb.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

C is for Chow Chow

C!!! I FORGOT C!!!

Anyone who is surprised by my lack of understanding when it comes to the sequence of the English alphabet please see the “A” post. That should clear things up.

I forgot C. Shit.

We are a Chow Chow family. We really do love the breed. Generally there are two type of people: those that love a Chow and those that have been mauled by one. Let me begin by saying that this breed is not for everyone but hey, you would never see me owning a Greyhound or a Dachshund either.

Chows, in my experience, are dangerously loyal, loving, and smart. They cuddle and play and take pack order very seriously. They need discipline with behavior but when it comes to hygiene they are pretty particular and clean. The attitude that comes off my dog is comparable to a cat sometimes. She will be totally cool to snuggle or play but when she’s done with you she’s all Miss Independent. I love that bitch!

The truth is I was very apprehensive to get the Chow we have now. We had our Lucille who was a cinnamon Chow for 11 years when we had to do the most humane thing possible and say goodbye. I didn’t know if I even liked her when we met but very shortly I was smitten and she loved me right back. My then boyfriend/now husband would even blame me for “ruining'” her. I took his tough girl and made her my baby. The thought of getting another of the same breed made me sad and a little nervous. I suggested adopting, maybe something bigger, something that wouldn’t remind me of Lou so much. I also thought with such a bully breed rap these guys get what if we had the one good one? What if it was a fluke. We were ready for a new dog but I was so unsure. My husband insisted we have another Chow.

We had a wonderful opportunity to go to Ohio and pick up our new baby. I was a little standoffish having not got my way. But in the 7ish hours it took us to get home I was in love. That sweet tiny fur ball slept in my lap the whole way. I would like to think it was a very necessary bonding time. Dear hubbs thought we were picking out his next dog but little did we know, she was already mine.

She was so black (how black was she?) just kidding. Not going there. She did have an all black body, black eyes, back tongue, black. I could not for the life of me get a picture. So I called the best baby photographer and told her I needed baby pics at once.  


Together now… awww…

I will skip ahead so you don’t have to hear my mommy ranting about how I have the best dog in the whole wide world while simultaneously patting myself on the back because the dog really does reflect the owner. I will not tell you that everyone (well there was that one guy) who comes in contact with her also falls in love. She is good with babies, the groomer swoons, she is even pretty good with other dogs. She is sweet and cuddly… ok! I’ll stop.

Photo montage of my Pepper (that is what you get when you have a black dog and let your small children have final say on the name).

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Obviously this dog is super vicious.


I joke about this being like her senior picture.

She is 3 now. Besides needing a bath in this photo, isn’t she gorgeous?

D is for Donuts

Out of all the things that start with D, I go for donuts. They could be considered my #1 guilty pleasure. I make them at home, buy them from the grocery store, but love to frequent little Mom and Pop donut shops. There are plenty of posers around town here. Places that appear to be a good idea on the outside but when in you realize the place is run by teens and the goodies are sub par. I have a few favorites and I pick them on diner standards. Longevity, food quality, and word of mouth. I’m not looking for a 4 star breakfast, just a damn good donut. Here’s my top two, to me the rest are a waste.


There’s this fancy (ahem) place in St. Charles that starts throwing the flour and sugar around at the break of dawn. They are busy because their treats are delish. If you don’t get there before 10am then all you get is rudeness and a ring side seat to watch half a dozen old guys pound coffee, no more donuts. My favorite are the plain ones here. Slightly glazed buttermilk. Yum!


Mario's Donuts and Cafe

Mario’s is my favorite! They are a donut shop and Mediterranean cafe. Weird combo, I know. This Greek guy, oddly named Mario, is the mastermind behind this gem. They have two locations here in town. There is nothing on the menu that is not good. They have a plate size apple fritter that my hubby is addicted to. Good thing it is big enough to share… with a village.

Commercially I will throw a little high five at the Entenmanns Rich Chocolate Donut. It is a super expensive treat that I only buy when really on sale. They are just chocolate covered donuts but the chocolate coating isn’t waxy like the tiny ones of another brand. To me, That is very important.

It is truly an wonder I don’t weigh 500lbs! Sheesh!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

B is for Boys

When the hubbs and I were first entertaining the idea of offspring I used to pray for God to bless me with a whole house full of boys. Since growing up in an all female household, I was ready for a beast of a different gender. I had romantic visions of four or five great big dudes who eat like horses and call their momma ma’am. Then I had one. Then two. That is when I realized it was just more work to have more. So I threw my hands to the sky and said “Ok! That’s enough. This house is full.” I am happy. Then I look around the house and I think I must have been suffering a psychotic episode when I wanted a handful of these freaks. My two keep me busy enough to be exhausted always.

I am completely smitten by my little momma’s boys. They are weird, they are smart, they are gross, and they are all mine. I like to encourage individuality and creativity. I don’t get my panties in a bunch about dirt. After coming so close to losing one I never take them for granted. It breaks my heart to watch them getting so big so fast and then the pieces get all glued back together with overwhelming pride.

I am no saint and I am definitely not getting my Mother of the Year award any time soon but I love my two little boys.

Let’s enjoy the dudes with some pictures:


This was our Christmas card in 2008. No joke, it said “Hope your Christmas Rocks!” 



Apprehending bad guys I presume.



Pretty sure I said “Smile!” and I got this. Huh.


One of our many nature hikes. It was only a 150 degrees out this day. We wore pants to trudge through the woods tho.


Fall 2010?


The only hotel room we found on our trip to Ohio was the honeymoon suite. Sheesh. This tub was in the living room. We watched T.V. while the kids “swam”. It was weird.



Really, guys?! Really?!?



Halloween 2012.



Playing in the river in the parking lot of the Boathouse in old St. Charles. Water is high and cold!

So I made it two days in a row. I am patting myself on the back just a little. I hope I can keep it up. Wish me luck!