Here it is folks. It’s that time of year. Sheesh. How many of you are you are so sick of the holiday clichés? It comes down to these few last days before the end of the year and I am just ready to have it over with. Sorry Jesus. I feel the same about almost anything I have to plan that includes other people. Sorry people. This may actually turn in to a rant so if you find yourself filled with the Spirit, you may want to just click the little x in the top right corner.
Unfortunately it is right about now I become a bi-polar Chrismafreakakonis. I really love the magic and the wonder and the kindness but hate the rush and the stuff and the other stuff. You follow? Let me ‘splain.
It irritates me to no end that this time of year for so many (you know who you are and you can pretend all you want but we know who you are too!) revolves around buying shit. To remedy this feeling of loathe at a time of year when I should have only joy in my heart I did away with most of the stuff. I refused the mall. I bought only things I thought were from my heart and I made a lot of gifts this year. I have a hard time explaining to my kids why Santa loves (with tons of shit) little Johnny more and why he hates poor kids. We all know none of this is true but in the end think of what it looks like to a five year old. It breaks my heart. I remember the days (thank you Mom, I love you and now I get it) when I would be upset with Santa thinking maybe I wasn’t good enough this year because I had one Cabbage Patch doll under the tree and apples and oranges in my stocking. Looking back, I am forever grateful that he came at all. For goodness sake people, if you are going to spoil the shit out of your brats do it on their birthday, not Jesus’.
So while I assemble 38 candy cane reindeer and bawl my ass off over stupid things like “Oh, Holy Night” (damn it Celine, you are destroying more than the English language when you sing, my dignity goes to hell too) it makes me wonder “when will the wonder die?”. I’m sure in the next year my eight year old will figure out why Carl the Elf didn’t move and my heart will shrivel a little. It saddens me. I want to teach my beasts that kindness is not just a cold weather activity. We volunteer all year long and I can’t help but think we could all be doing a little bit more this time of year.
A dear friend posted not long ago that she didn’t understand why people were boasting about their kindness on Facebook. Shouldn't kindness come free of reward? Yes. But sometimes it feels so good that you want to shout it to the heavens and hopefully inspire someone who wasn’t in the loving and giving mood. That being said some crappy ass soccer mom bought my latte today in the drive-thru. I was pissed. She just drove off before I got a chance to thank her for her unnecessary kindness! I was so surprised, and I had already dug out my five bucks, that I paid for the dude behind me with a “well shit then, I’ll just get his”. Oh, and dipshit at Whole Foods last week… it was me, you’re welcome. Lucky you I wasn’t in a purse stealing mood.
I was raised very well (and Catholic) and I am trying to teach my children with love, forgiveness, and kind hearted behavior instead of straight Dogma but this time of year it is so easy to dismiss the should have for the must have. I want them to know that I love them by the way I act instead of the things I buy. Call me cheap, call me a hippie, but if it really matters follow my lead. I get a lot of questions about Christmas and I answer each one with well thought out and gentle honesty. I am not trying to kill Santa and I surely do not want them to miss the real reason that we all celebrate our winters the way we do whatever your religion, trust me I have had a lot of questions this year! Santa will come to our house, and since my boys have been having a hard time with the ol’ love thy brother thing they have mostly things they have to share coming from the big guy.
Since this will be my last post of the year I implore you to go out in to this great big world and make a difference in someone’s day, no matter how small, they will notice. I promise.
Please know that I appreciate you and I wish you a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Blessed Solstice, Cheerful Kwanza… whatever your belief… much love to you.
See ya’ll next year… unless the Mayans were right. Either way I am gonna stay up past midnight… I’ll let ya know how that goes.