At it again…

My crazy kids always keep me on my toes. Tonight I decided, in between layers of Modge Podge, that I would let you in on the chaos that has been my “norm” this week.

First, my big boy. He just started Kindergarten a couple weeks ago. He is generally a good kid but he can be “all boy”. What does that mean? He can be obnoxious, high energy, gross, loud, dirty, bits of each or all of the above. This week was no exception. He has been doing really well in school even though it took some getting used to at first. He started off coming home exhausted, now he’s comfortable enough to get in trouble. They have a color system that looks like a traffic light. Green is good, yellow was a pretty serious warning and if you have to pull a red stick it means you are in trouble and usually comes with consequences like losing recess time. My angel had a red day on Friday. I in turn was seeing red! “What did you do?!? Tell me what happened!”. My buddy was crying and didn’t want to say. Lucky me his teacher sent a note. Looks like he was rough-housing during quiet time and ended up hitting some kid in the face with his nap mat. Am I surprised? Not too much. I was calm, so far, and explained to him my disappointment ending the scold with the warning that if this happens again it will carry over into being grounded at home. He was still sobbing. I am getting aggravated (I know, bad Mom) and I ask him if he acts this way for his teacher. “When you got a red stick did you cry all over your teacher like this?!?!”, he replied “No!”. I asked what he said to her when he got in trouble and he said TO HIS TEACHER “Great, my mom is gonna be so pissed!”. Awesome, huh?

Next.

My little guy is three and a half. What a pain. Terrible two’s? Nope. My boys were so sweet at two. It’s awful three’s and did you really make it to see four’s. My little dude is lazy. He has always been really laid back about everything so why this surprises me I have no idea. He does things like eat with his hands even though he is really good at using a fork. The fork just takes too long. Potty training is a challenge with this one because he truly could care less that he is sitting in a load of pee. He is potty trained now but still wears a pull-up to bed. Recently I have noticed the hall bathroom smelling like urine. It is foul and I can’t stand it. Hell, I can’t even do that. I have been scrubbing the bathroom all week trying to get the smell out with no success. On occasion we have wet swimsuits or towels from the pool that accumulate in the tub before making it to the wash. Sometimes they are tee shirts covered in spaghetti or, even more rare, pants (usually jammies) that have fallen victim to an “accident”. I thought this smell must be musty stuff in the tub but the smell won’t go away even though these tub items get washed often. I am going crazy here! My five year old (who loves to tattle) said today “Mom! I have to tell you something about brother’s potty!”. Ok. What? “Mom! He’s peeing in the bath tub!” Problem found. Now what the hell do I do about it?!? Looks like I will be stalking him to the bathroom for a while.

Have a good weekend knowing that you don’t have a potty mouth or a potty monster to deal with! 

Big and Crafty

I am having second thoughts about the title of this one. Just sayin'.
I have completed two large sized, not large in difficulty, projects lately. Yes, I actually finished something. Surprised?!? Where's my party?The first was this really awesome mirror. Ok, it's a mirror. What makes it cool was it was so close to free I can't even stand it! It is 35x47in, with a 4in wood frame. The frame was silver leaf when we bought it. Now even in the cheapy discount home decorator stores this would have cost a pretty penny. I found this mirror the other day at Garden Ridge for $129.99, then you take their pretty much standard sale of 40% off of framed art and it was still around $78! I got this baby several months ago at Lowes, on clearance (nothing wrong w/ it) for $27.33!!! I painted it a matte dark brown and finally had my dear hubby risk life and limb to hang the beaut. It is hanging in the foyer of our split level home. This wall has been blank the entire time (9+ yrs) that we have lived here. I guess I was intimidated by it. Check it out:

Then... I finally went to the new craftapalooza they built and got a giant paper mache C (last name). I did decoupage for the first time ever. It was sooo fun! I love it and my project turned out really great too. Now to figure out where it is going to call home. Looky:

Ignore el grande thumbo!

Temporary home in kitchen for picture. The lighting in here makes the browns look pink. They aren't.

I am not a photographer and I probably should have fixed this lighting issue either in real life or photoshop. It looks like this is rose and mauve and it is brown, brown, and brown. Deal.

I am tired and posting without checking, editing, or fixing. Hell, I'm not even going to re-read it!
Enjoy!

Things that aggravate me… today

1. Morons. Of all variety. I am not, by any means a brilliant person but luckily I possess the common sense to not look like a complete idiot as soon as I step out into the world. Some, it seems a lot, are not as fortunate.

To the woman in the spandex shorts and flowered sun hat: Did you really need to cut me off at the intersection just to go and stand in a line 400 people deep to get into a store that even though it says “grand opening” has in  reality been open for weeks?!?! Those $5 gift cards were for the first 100 people in the door and I used my super cool and totally free eyeballs to decide you were not one of these folks. What’s the rush?!? Oh, and one more thing: Did you really look in the mirror before leaving the house and say to yourself “Gee, I look great, let’s shop!”???

2. Impatient automobile operators. Specifically the ass behind me at the stop light.

Not only do I not feel it necessary to gun it off the line, I do not appreciate your incessant honking because I did not accelerate to your liking in the first nanosecond the light was green. In my defense, I was not camping out or ignoring the traffic signal. I saw it was green the moment it changed. Besides a lack of planning on your part does not, in any situation, constitute an emergency on my part. So there.

3. Recipes with too many ingredients and the food snots that rave on them.

I like food. Of all kinds. I do not, however, think that a basic plate of spaghetti needs to have a rosemary mango chutney mixed in. Spaghetti is good, that’s why we still eat it after all these decades. Meatloaf does not need a horseradish truffle puree added in. It’s freakin’ meatloaf! I can not express the images that come to mind when someone tastes something (whether I made it or not), smacks their chops and and says something asinine like “That was good but it could use some portabella mushroom, raspberry brandy, and fresh tarragon.” Seems to me that would not be the same dish AT ALL! I can understand saying something is bland (dash of salt maybe?) but using your culinary vocabulary to assault an already constructed dish seems a bit unnecessary.

 

I feel better now. It is kind of early to be so fussy but I can explain. I went to the new location of Joanne’s which is my new Mecca. It calls to me. It is a craft project, decorator and fabric paradise. This weekend is thei0r “grand opening” with deals, great coupons, give-aways, and make and takes. I went thinking that on a Thursday morning, surely there would be less of a crowd. Nope. Is EVERYONE collecting unemployment?!?! The crowd was ridiculous. I drove right past. I need nothing that bad.

#2 is self explanatory. Stupid f&*k-tard in his Beemer in a rush. Grrr…

The third was this guy on a news channel this morning who was tasting a dish they were featuring in a cooking spot. Sheesh, what an ass.

Hope your day is awesome, mine sure has been full of awe so far.

Breakfast (tee hee)

• Jul. 25th, 2010 at 9:26 AM

Kids can’t possibly eat healthy all the time, right? Well not in this house anyway.

Last night I picked up a bag of those little white powdered “donettes” when I went out to get the Sunday paper. My kids see this, have visions of tiny dancing doughnuts in their sweet little heads, then come attack me in the morning looking for the good stuff. This exchange took place between my three year old and I not long ago:

Boy: “Ma, where are the doughnuts?!?!?”

Me: “Good morning Angel”

Boy: “Maaauuaaa! Where did you put those tiny doughnuts?!?!? Can I have them?”

Me: “They are hiding. How did you sleep?”

Boy: “Where did you hide them?”

Me: “In a magical place…”

Boy: “Like the dishwasher?!”

Who knew the dishwasher held magical properties in the eyes of my strange little dude?! I quit teasing and gave in. Of course when the bag was opened it sent out the junk-food-for-breakfast alarm and my five year old was immediately standing in the kitchen waiting for his sweets too.

My Kitchen Floor

• Jul. 19th, 2010 at 3:25 PM

When we bought this house the kitchen was one of the things that set it apart from the other houses we had looked at in our price range. It has a big open floor. The kitchen/dining combo area is where I spend most of my time. Some of it is spent cooking, my computer is located there, and if and when I craft or sew my stainless steel kitchen table is perfect. I am not the only one to spend time in my kitchen since my boys are glued to me most of the time. It is where they play Play-dough, muck, paint, breakdance, etc. SInce we got our dog very young and the kitchen only has one door to the house we also used it as a kennel of sorts by putting a gate in the doorway. We celebrate birthdays here, dye Easter eggs, and carve pumpkins. We also have nervous breakdowns here, throw tantrums, most of my screaming gets done right here in the kitchen. Sometimes things are fun, other times they are just plain messy. Take a look:

When the older of my boys was diagnosed with Leukemia, the kitchen floor was host to an emotional breakdown and then a head shaving party. That is a pile leftover from my Dad's head!

Uh... Honey...

It is a wonderful place to try new things... like play tents we get for birthdays.
Wow! Look how young my buddies were! See the baby in the middle? tee hee

Speaking of babies, it is a place of comfort. This is where we eat, drink, rest and make the occational pre-potty trained piddle.

And play! This is my nephew before he became terrified of our dog. She is roughly the same size as him now but he loved her tiny.

This is what happens when Mommy wants to sew.

This is what happens when a puppy gets curious while left alone. :(
What does my kitchen floor look like right now? Well, it's not clean. We actually live here.

I sat down. Time to play. What you don't see here is that the second I sat on the floor my little guy jumped in my lap.
I could go on forever. Do you have any idea how many photos get taken in this room?!?

Hope today finds you happy,

Gift idea

Weeks ago my sister had a close friend of ours go out of his way for a very meaningful favor. She mentioned to me that she would like to give him a thank you gift but didn't know where to start. This friend of ours owns a bar and this idea just hit me...

I went in search of a frame. The cheaper the better, beacuse after all I was just going to tear it up, but it had to be made of wood not plastic.
I took this file to it both in a sanding off the finish way and a hacking at the edges way. 

Next was some acrylic paint that I watered down. I chose black. Then I stained the frame and the thin black paint soaked into all the parts that I had sanded.

What is it you ask? It is a print out from my computer on to cardstock of Saint Amand, Patron Saint of innkeepers, bartenders, and vintors.

I got this ink at the scrapbook store years ago. I think I have used it on at least 4,782 projects and it is still alive and serving a purpose. I am smitten.
I used my love here to give a worn/burnt edge to the mat board without having to take the time and concentration to use fire.
(I am not a photographer, see my camera strap?!?! tee hee)

Then I used this trick that I found on another blog, which I can not find right now to give credit where credit is due. I hope if it is you and your blog that I am referring to, and you just by some off chance that the cosmos have aligned and you happen to read my post, please give yourself up in a comment so that I may link to the tutorial you posted. It was great!

Using clear caulk I made this regular glass look like the bubbly old antique glass we all love. I photographed this while it was still l little wet but when it is fully set, if you have smoothed it correctly, it will be clear instead of cloudy and goopey.

I added a couple little labels that I tore the edges of...

And Voila!
Instant relic?

I made this in a jiff, only thing that took any time was the caulk drying. I wrapped it in newspaper and gave it to my sister to give as a thank you. I will probably do another one of these, cuz I think they're cool!

Hair towel

I have had a few nerdy little projects going on here. I love these because not only are they ridiculously simple to make, they make nice gifts, can be personalized or jazzed up, and they work really well. It's a towel tuban!

You can use any bath towel you want. I bought mine on sale for like three bucks! 
You cut it in a large tear drop shape. Then you cut it directly in half, or don't. I find they fit and stay on your head better if you take the time to cut them in half. Although, I am using big fluffy bath towels, a thin one might be better un-cut.

Ever sew terrycloth? Nightmare! You will need to finish the edges before you can get anywhere. Or accept death by fuzzies.
Then sew the two halves together and remember to stick a little loop of elastic in there near the base.
Tada!
I found i needed these when I cut my hair short and it wouldn't hold a big towel.


Notice my 5 year old son is less than thrilled to model this "girl towel"?
Tee hee.

On a completely unrelated note: Did you know that Listerine makes for a pretty darn good bug repellant? Read about it in an email, tried it and low and behold it works. Turns out bacteria in your mouth and little annoying yard bugs are made of the same stuff. Spray down the deck or patio furniture and there you go! I used the nasty yellow stuff, the one that reminds me of my Grandpa. Upside? Your backyard is minty fresh.

Big Deal

I am not a fan of being bolted out of sleep. I will make an exception today. Kinda like Christmas morning, something cool happened while we were sleeping. The Tooth Fairy came!!! For the first time in our house we got to "play" Tooth Fairy. When I pull of something of this magnitude (memories for life=pretty important) I want to stand up and make an acceptance speech. I dance around with that fluttery feeling in my chest that can only be cured by laughing and screaming. I LOVE IT.
Houston, we have a problem. My son is the lightest sleeper in the universe. Always has been. He must get up like four times a night. So how the heck am I supposed to get under his pillow?!?!  I ended up laying down with him after waking him up by walking in the room. I made the switch and ran to silently cheer at my hubby. Who was sleeping on the couch! Wha?!? WHy do I get to be all the imaginary figures of lore? Oh well, I did it!!!
My son decorated an envelope for his tooth to be sent in and this is what was left in return:

I thought it was cute. Whaen I was little the story went that the Tooth Fairy carried a coin purse and would leave change. I really don't know where you a-holes that have decided a five year old needs $20 for a tooth came from but F off! I realize that the cost of living has gone up but is life so expencive that you have to rip away the magic and make this a "who can spoil thier brat the most" contest? I can't tell you how many times I have heard "I got $5 from the Tooth Fairy, $5 from my Daddy, and $10 from my Grammy". We roll old school, we believe in fairy tales and the simple pleasures in life. My original intent was to leave a dollar. One shiny dollar coin. I, of course, plan everything poorly and had to settle for a satchel of change, which contained two dollars because of the guilt. My son was overjoyed!!!
It's the little things.
Have a good weekend.

Gotta Love New!

A couple weeks ago I accompanied my little sis for her outpatient surgery at the new hospital in our area. It was so cool. Not the sister in surgery part but the "new" of the hospital. Before I start I will tell you that I am a sucker for 100 year old brick houses, kinda hard not to be around here. But... The smell of new construction is also something that makes me smile no matter the building. For this reason I stalk display homes. Mmmm... cut wood, fresh paint, new carpet. This hospital still had its new smell. Hell, they sell the new car fragrance so why not the new house? My poor sissy was nervous, rightfully so, but all I could think of was how awesome it was that this place was built less than a year ago.
Everything in this place is state of the art, too. It's the 21st century, you didn't think a brand new medical facility would be built with all the same old crap did you? I could go on and on about all the cool stuff this place was hiding behind its pristine cabinets and fresh beige walls but I was seriously drawn to one thing in particular.
If you have spent any time in the hospital, for any reason, you will know two things: 
     1. It is uncomfortably cold. Um, to the point that even though it is obvious you are a woman you will spout off things along the lines of "I'm freezin' my frickin' balls off in here!". 
     2. As soon as you complain about the temperature some lovely person in scrubs-type gear gallops to your rescue with an armful of heated blankets fresh from what looks like a giant roaster.
This, my friends, is euphoria. The kind of thing that makes me all gooey in my bones. An act that only angels perform. I loved this pampering so much (and was so happy I was still among the living) after my appendectomy that I begged my dear husband to install one of those heater jobbies in our bedroom. I tried to convince him he would never shiver again. I would warm blankets, towels, socks, mittens, any item that would be twice as nice already toasty. Could have been the drugs. He looked at me and stated the facts: he is never cold and I should rest.
In this new hospital they have one upped the warm blanket to a device so simple it makes me think "why the F didn't I think of that?!?!?". Their gowns have ports in them that hook to a heater/air conditioner. I was stunned. so stunned I took pictures like a hillbilly.

Yep that's it.

That's where it goes.

Another option.

These gowns were so cool. I would actually like to be wearing one with the cooling mode set to frozen all summer, which is the only way I could imagine the cold air setting getting used, really... who comes out of anesthesia hot?! The room is 45°! In July!

My sister's favorite part?

Free grippy socks! She liked them so much she asked for another pair! LOL

On a side note the staff at this uber cool high techy hospital were awesome! My sis has her tragus (trigus) peirced and it is one tuff cookie to get in and out. THey said it had to go for surgery but were super nivce enough to take it out for her, put in a little plastic tube to hold its place, and then put it back in. You would have thought they were actually having fun. To me it looked like acupuncture gone bad. Here look:

Eeewww!!!

Apparently it is alot tougher to get the ball back in the hoop than out.
I swear she is not dead, I will express your concern and tell her to get a little sun.

These warmers are probably not new for anyone but me, it truly is the little things for this chic. Thanks for reading anyway.

P.S. Please, Sissy, don't kill me for posting this pic of you. Or the one with your leg in the air. Or the one with the double chin. Rest assured I don't have many readers. XOXO

Happy 4th of July!

• Jul. 4th, 2010 at 11:35 AM

I woke up this morning motivated. Don't know why. Actually I had a little bit of what I call a "kid hangover" but motivated all the same. No, I do not liquor up my children (tempting, but no), then what is a "kid hangover" you ask? Remember when you were little and you spent the whole day doing something really kick ass? Then you woke up the next day and maybe it was your legs that were a reminder or a sunburn or maybe just really heavy eyelids. It's a result of having too much fun the night before, a hangover.
I am hungover from taking my kiddos, along with friends and family, to the riverfront to see fireworks. It is all fun and games until I have to push 85+ lbs in a stroller straight up a hill, in hell. Where is my loving husband during all of this? He just had to watch the UFC match with his buddies. Apparently this one was important (it seems everyone of them is this important). "Babe, It's the biggest fight of the year!" is what he tells me. This of course is like me saying "wow this is the greatest Sunday this week!". See? Joking aside, we had a great time even though my legs are reminding me of it this morning. I have a kid hangover, he had a grown up hangover. Ha!
Apparently motivated and in the mood for rambling... sorry.

I decided to make a red, white, and blue breakfast but then the eggs would be totally gross with just the whites (yes. they. would.) and the blue is kinda golden brown too. Oh well. Simple but sooo goood! This is not a food blog, I will leave that to my wonderful mother-in-law, check her out: http://www.therefluffednest.com/ *drool*. Speaking of my MIL and food, I am also burning a batch of my own mother's famous baked beans, sorry mom.

Did you all notice how disgusting my stove top is? LOL I warned you this is not a food blog so I do not clean the area before I take post-worthy photos of my fantastic creations. Move over, I'm cooking here!
Enough ranting. I hope everyone has an awesome holiday. Many heartfelt thanks go out to all the men and women who have in the past and still do today, allow us the great freedoms we are celebrating! Be careful! Have fun!
(sorry again mom)

Well, Hello There!

• Jun. 28th, 2010 at 5:44 PM

After putting the kiddos to bed last night my hubby ventures into the kitchen and I return to the coutch to relax. Then I hear my dear hubby yelling in a loud wisper "hurry and come look at this, hurry!". Crap. I jump up from where my feet were finally getting to rest and in my kitchen on the door I see this:

The flash on the glass door? No. The nasty pile that is the top of my microwave? No. Look close. There is a tiny speck that caught our eye. Here lets zoom:

A little closer? Too dang cute not to get right up in this one's face!

What a nice surprise after a nasty summer thunderstorm. I must have snapped 4,824 pictures. Really too bad the kiddos were asleep. I will add that unlike the other little creatures that reside here, this one didn't even leave his prints on the glass.