At it again…

My crazy kids always keep me on my toes. Tonight I decided, in between layers of Modge Podge, that I would let you in on the chaos that has been my “norm” this week.

First, my big boy. He just started Kindergarten a couple weeks ago. He is generally a good kid but he can be “all boy”. What does that mean? He can be obnoxious, high energy, gross, loud, dirty, bits of each or all of the above. This week was no exception. He has been doing really well in school even though it took some getting used to at first. He started off coming home exhausted, now he’s comfortable enough to get in trouble. They have a color system that looks like a traffic light. Green is good, yellow was a pretty serious warning and if you have to pull a red stick it means you are in trouble and usually comes with consequences like losing recess time. My angel had a red day on Friday. I in turn was seeing red! “What did you do?!? Tell me what happened!”. My buddy was crying and didn’t want to say. Lucky me his teacher sent a note. Looks like he was rough-housing during quiet time and ended up hitting some kid in the face with his nap mat. Am I surprised? Not too much. I was calm, so far, and explained to him my disappointment ending the scold with the warning that if this happens again it will carry over into being grounded at home. He was still sobbing. I am getting aggravated (I know, bad Mom) and I ask him if he acts this way for his teacher. “When you got a red stick did you cry all over your teacher like this?!?!”, he replied “No!”. I asked what he said to her when he got in trouble and he said TO HIS TEACHER “Great, my mom is gonna be so pissed!”. Awesome, huh?

Next.

My little guy is three and a half. What a pain. Terrible two’s? Nope. My boys were so sweet at two. It’s awful three’s and did you really make it to see four’s. My little dude is lazy. He has always been really laid back about everything so why this surprises me I have no idea. He does things like eat with his hands even though he is really good at using a fork. The fork just takes too long. Potty training is a challenge with this one because he truly could care less that he is sitting in a load of pee. He is potty trained now but still wears a pull-up to bed. Recently I have noticed the hall bathroom smelling like urine. It is foul and I can’t stand it. Hell, I can’t even do that. I have been scrubbing the bathroom all week trying to get the smell out with no success. On occasion we have wet swimsuits or towels from the pool that accumulate in the tub before making it to the wash. Sometimes they are tee shirts covered in spaghetti or, even more rare, pants (usually jammies) that have fallen victim to an “accident”. I thought this smell must be musty stuff in the tub but the smell won’t go away even though these tub items get washed often. I am going crazy here! My five year old (who loves to tattle) said today “Mom! I have to tell you something about brother’s potty!”. Ok. What? “Mom! He’s peeing in the bath tub!” Problem found. Now what the hell do I do about it?!? Looks like I will be stalking him to the bathroom for a while.

Have a good weekend knowing that you don’t have a potty mouth or a potty monster to deal with! 

Big and Crafty

I am having second thoughts about the title of this one. Just sayin'.
I have completed two large sized, not large in difficulty, projects lately. Yes, I actually finished something. Surprised?!? Where's my party?The first was this really awesome mirror. Ok, it's a mirror. What makes it cool was it was so close to free I can't even stand it! It is 35x47in, with a 4in wood frame. The frame was silver leaf when we bought it. Now even in the cheapy discount home decorator stores this would have cost a pretty penny. I found this mirror the other day at Garden Ridge for $129.99, then you take their pretty much standard sale of 40% off of framed art and it was still around $78! I got this baby several months ago at Lowes, on clearance (nothing wrong w/ it) for $27.33!!! I painted it a matte dark brown and finally had my dear hubby risk life and limb to hang the beaut. It is hanging in the foyer of our split level home. This wall has been blank the entire time (9+ yrs) that we have lived here. I guess I was intimidated by it. Check it out:

Then... I finally went to the new craftapalooza they built and got a giant paper mache C (last name). I did decoupage for the first time ever. It was sooo fun! I love it and my project turned out really great too. Now to figure out where it is going to call home. Looky:

Ignore el grande thumbo!

Temporary home in kitchen for picture. The lighting in here makes the browns look pink. They aren't.

I am not a photographer and I probably should have fixed this lighting issue either in real life or photoshop. It looks like this is rose and mauve and it is brown, brown, and brown. Deal.

I am tired and posting without checking, editing, or fixing. Hell, I'm not even going to re-read it!
Enjoy!

Things that aggravate me… today

1. Morons. Of all variety. I am not, by any means a brilliant person but luckily I possess the common sense to not look like a complete idiot as soon as I step out into the world. Some, it seems a lot, are not as fortunate.

To the woman in the spandex shorts and flowered sun hat: Did you really need to cut me off at the intersection just to go and stand in a line 400 people deep to get into a store that even though it says “grand opening” has in  reality been open for weeks?!?! Those $5 gift cards were for the first 100 people in the door and I used my super cool and totally free eyeballs to decide you were not one of these folks. What’s the rush?!? Oh, and one more thing: Did you really look in the mirror before leaving the house and say to yourself “Gee, I look great, let’s shop!”???

2. Impatient automobile operators. Specifically the ass behind me at the stop light.

Not only do I not feel it necessary to gun it off the line, I do not appreciate your incessant honking because I did not accelerate to your liking in the first nanosecond the light was green. In my defense, I was not camping out or ignoring the traffic signal. I saw it was green the moment it changed. Besides a lack of planning on your part does not, in any situation, constitute an emergency on my part. So there.

3. Recipes with too many ingredients and the food snots that rave on them.

I like food. Of all kinds. I do not, however, think that a basic plate of spaghetti needs to have a rosemary mango chutney mixed in. Spaghetti is good, that’s why we still eat it after all these decades. Meatloaf does not need a horseradish truffle puree added in. It’s freakin’ meatloaf! I can not express the images that come to mind when someone tastes something (whether I made it or not), smacks their chops and and says something asinine like “That was good but it could use some portabella mushroom, raspberry brandy, and fresh tarragon.” Seems to me that would not be the same dish AT ALL! I can understand saying something is bland (dash of salt maybe?) but using your culinary vocabulary to assault an already constructed dish seems a bit unnecessary.

 

I feel better now. It is kind of early to be so fussy but I can explain. I went to the new location of Joanne’s which is my new Mecca. It calls to me. It is a craft project, decorator and fabric paradise. This weekend is thei0r “grand opening” with deals, great coupons, give-aways, and make and takes. I went thinking that on a Thursday morning, surely there would be less of a crowd. Nope. Is EVERYONE collecting unemployment?!?! The crowd was ridiculous. I drove right past. I need nothing that bad.

#2 is self explanatory. Stupid f&*k-tard in his Beemer in a rush. Grrr…

The third was this guy on a news channel this morning who was tasting a dish they were featuring in a cooking spot. Sheesh, what an ass.

Hope your day is awesome, mine sure has been full of awe so far.

Breakfast (tee hee)

• Jul. 25th, 2010 at 9:26 AM

Kids can’t possibly eat healthy all the time, right? Well not in this house anyway.

Last night I picked up a bag of those little white powdered “donettes” when I went out to get the Sunday paper. My kids see this, have visions of tiny dancing doughnuts in their sweet little heads, then come attack me in the morning looking for the good stuff. This exchange took place between my three year old and I not long ago:

Boy: “Ma, where are the doughnuts?!?!?”

Me: “Good morning Angel”

Boy: “Maaauuaaa! Where did you put those tiny doughnuts?!?!? Can I have them?”

Me: “They are hiding. How did you sleep?”

Boy: “Where did you hide them?”

Me: “In a magical place…”

Boy: “Like the dishwasher?!”

Who knew the dishwasher held magical properties in the eyes of my strange little dude?! I quit teasing and gave in. Of course when the bag was opened it sent out the junk-food-for-breakfast alarm and my five year old was immediately standing in the kitchen waiting for his sweets too.

My Kitchen Floor

• Jul. 19th, 2010 at 3:25 PM

When we bought this house the kitchen was one of the things that set it apart from the other houses we had looked at in our price range. It has a big open floor. The kitchen/dining combo area is where I spend most of my time. Some of it is spent cooking, my computer is located there, and if and when I craft or sew my stainless steel kitchen table is perfect. I am not the only one to spend time in my kitchen since my boys are glued to me most of the time. It is where they play Play-dough, muck, paint, breakdance, etc. SInce we got our dog very young and the kitchen only has one door to the house we also used it as a kennel of sorts by putting a gate in the doorway. We celebrate birthdays here, dye Easter eggs, and carve pumpkins. We also have nervous breakdowns here, throw tantrums, most of my screaming gets done right here in the kitchen. Sometimes things are fun, other times they are just plain messy. Take a look:

When the older of my boys was diagnosed with Leukemia, the kitchen floor was host to an emotional breakdown and then a head shaving party. That is a pile leftover from my Dad's head!

Uh... Honey...

It is a wonderful place to try new things... like play tents we get for birthdays.
Wow! Look how young my buddies were! See the baby in the middle? tee hee

Speaking of babies, it is a place of comfort. This is where we eat, drink, rest and make the occational pre-potty trained piddle.

And play! This is my nephew before he became terrified of our dog. She is roughly the same size as him now but he loved her tiny.

This is what happens when Mommy wants to sew.

This is what happens when a puppy gets curious while left alone. :(
What does my kitchen floor look like right now? Well, it's not clean. We actually live here.

I sat down. Time to play. What you don't see here is that the second I sat on the floor my little guy jumped in my lap.
I could go on forever. Do you have any idea how many photos get taken in this room?!?

Hope today finds you happy,

Gift idea

Weeks ago my sister had a close friend of ours go out of his way for a very meaningful favor. She mentioned to me that she would like to give him a thank you gift but didn't know where to start. This friend of ours owns a bar and this idea just hit me...

I went in search of a frame. The cheaper the better, beacuse after all I was just going to tear it up, but it had to be made of wood not plastic.
I took this file to it both in a sanding off the finish way and a hacking at the edges way. 

Next was some acrylic paint that I watered down. I chose black. Then I stained the frame and the thin black paint soaked into all the parts that I had sanded.

What is it you ask? It is a print out from my computer on to cardstock of Saint Amand, Patron Saint of innkeepers, bartenders, and vintors.

I got this ink at the scrapbook store years ago. I think I have used it on at least 4,782 projects and it is still alive and serving a purpose. I am smitten.
I used my love here to give a worn/burnt edge to the mat board without having to take the time and concentration to use fire.
(I am not a photographer, see my camera strap?!?! tee hee)

Then I used this trick that I found on another blog, which I can not find right now to give credit where credit is due. I hope if it is you and your blog that I am referring to, and you just by some off chance that the cosmos have aligned and you happen to read my post, please give yourself up in a comment so that I may link to the tutorial you posted. It was great!

Using clear caulk I made this regular glass look like the bubbly old antique glass we all love. I photographed this while it was still l little wet but when it is fully set, if you have smoothed it correctly, it will be clear instead of cloudy and goopey.

I added a couple little labels that I tore the edges of...

And Voila!
Instant relic?

I made this in a jiff, only thing that took any time was the caulk drying. I wrapped it in newspaper and gave it to my sister to give as a thank you. I will probably do another one of these, cuz I think they're cool!

Hair towel

I have had a few nerdy little projects going on here. I love these because not only are they ridiculously simple to make, they make nice gifts, can be personalized or jazzed up, and they work really well. It's a towel tuban!

You can use any bath towel you want. I bought mine on sale for like three bucks! 
You cut it in a large tear drop shape. Then you cut it directly in half, or don't. I find they fit and stay on your head better if you take the time to cut them in half. Although, I am using big fluffy bath towels, a thin one might be better un-cut.

Ever sew terrycloth? Nightmare! You will need to finish the edges before you can get anywhere. Or accept death by fuzzies.
Then sew the two halves together and remember to stick a little loop of elastic in there near the base.
Tada!
I found i needed these when I cut my hair short and it wouldn't hold a big towel.


Notice my 5 year old son is less than thrilled to model this "girl towel"?
Tee hee.

On a completely unrelated note: Did you know that Listerine makes for a pretty darn good bug repellant? Read about it in an email, tried it and low and behold it works. Turns out bacteria in your mouth and little annoying yard bugs are made of the same stuff. Spray down the deck or patio furniture and there you go! I used the nasty yellow stuff, the one that reminds me of my Grandpa. Upside? Your backyard is minty fresh.