I have a couple things to say:

One:  There is a certain etiquette everyone should follow when attending a craft/art show/fair/bazaar. Even those of you who frequent flea markets and garage sales would benefit from this list. Thrift stores are excluded, you can be as rude as you want, the people who actually owned the stuff are no where around.

• Do not walk by another persons wares and comment on how easily it would be for you to duplicate them. Really? Why don’t you then. Buy one as a pattern then make your millions. See if I care.
• Refrain yourself from making comments like “oh, I have seen like 17 of those today”. Whether this is referring to the template on the business cards, the table decorations, or the Acura in the parking lot. No body cares. We all know there are 27 vendors with the same loop-d-loop hair bows! 
• Lets use a little common sense. As you walk past Bobby Sue’s booth and hold up her wares as a means of getting your BFF’s attention so you can both crack up at how tacky they are remember that to you it is a blue and yellow crochet rooster that slips over your toaster as a means of decoration. To Bobby Sue it is her trade, it probably took hours to make, she is proud enough to sell it in public, and she probably truly likes them.
• There is a time and a place for bartering. If you see me at the flea market and I am hocking hub caps, by all means haggle. If I am at a craft bazaar and I am selling hand knitted baby blankets there is no amount of sighing, hem hawing, or smooth talking that will make me lower the price of my little pretties. 
• Just to be polite: Bring cash, carry your own tote, and for God’s sake smile once in a while.

Which brings me to…

Two:  I fear I have lost my Mojo. I am a flirt. I flirt with everyone. Always have, no one is safe. I don’t even really look at it as flirting, maybe just kidding around, ice breakers, friendliness. I bartended and worked in restaurants for 16 years. You learn real fast that kindness means money. That sort of thing sticks and I actually enjoy smiling in traffic, striking up conversation in line for the grocery check-out, or waving at a perfect stranger. Until now.

Follow me here. I was set to make a left turn into a busy four lane road with a turn lane down the middle. There was a car in the turn lane getting ready to head my way. You follow? This road is relentless and if you don’t take the opportunity to turn when it presents itself you may be waiting for quite a while. Like forever. Not a turn for the timid. Now granted I may have crazy hair at times, today I was actually feeling kind of cute, a real rarity lately. The guy in the car waiting to turn was in no way “my type”. Actually he was too old, too hairy, and kind of weird. I smiled at him. To be nice. We were both in the same boat right? HE would have to turn first if I was to get my turn so I was looking for his hole in traffic. I saw it and motioned the all clear. “Come on wanna be biker in your ‘92 Tercel! It’s your turn!”. He turns and I give a little smile and a slight wave to say “have a nice day, wish me luck”. As he drives by, and trust me I am VERY good at reading lips, I see his surly mouth form the sentence “what the f*#k is yer problem?!”.

I am stunned. Why didn’t he smile? Wink? What did I do wrong? Granted, I have never been a hottie, but usually I can get a smile by giving one! Then it hit me. I have lost it. I am too old to be flirting with random strangers. This ruined my week. I had to put on make up just to walk my kiddo to the bus stop. I am not that kind of girl!!!

Hopefully it was just this one asshole having a bad day. Maybe he hates his Mom. Maybe his wife just told him she has Syphilis. I hope I figure this out before I embarrass myself too many more times.

Time to work my pathetic size 12, mother of two butt into a pair of my hubby’s jammie pants so I can breathe while I sleep.

Sadly, 

Unhottie of the Crafty Clan